by jenn
Normal day in Smallville, or so far anyway. No disasters or weirdos or mutants to ruin it. There was a new sheen of snow on the ground, and best of all, Clark was in charge of the grocery shopping.
All on his own.
"Eggs, cheese, butter, milk, cereal, candy, ice cream--" Clark ticked off the list, glancing up to see Lex leaning over his shoulder suspiciously.
"Your mother didn't put ice cream on the list." A long finger was sliding down the handwritten list, and Clark pulled it out of view, grinning. "Or candy."
So not so alone. Grocery shopping with Lex and the Jaguar. Even better.
"Improv, Lex. Chocolate or vanilla?"
"Chocolate, of course. Why am I here again?"
Taking the basket and glancing at the items within, Clark shrugged as they walked by the mayonaisse.
"I think this is what you called 'sucking-up' to my parents--"
"Being nice, Clark. Being nice. We don't call it sucking up until I start volunteering for these missions unannounced."
"All I asked was if you could give me a ride and you're the one that said you'd help."
Lex snorted.
"I had nothing better to do--"
"On a Saturday morning?" Clark answered, tossing a bright smile over his shoulder.
Behind him, he could hear the swish of Lex's coat as he followed Clark down the long grocery aisles, taking out his cellphone to check his messages as Clark enjoyed one of the few times he was being allowed to shop alone. His mother never let him have much latitude if he went with her--and in any case, it was embarassing to shop with his mom.
Lex was--well, he made the shopping experience interesting, that was for sure. Biting commentary on the CEOs of different companies--or their daughters--disturbing snickers when he read the ingredients lists on the ketchup and the cheese whiz, and pointing out that he could assemble a bomb or a new narcotic from the contents of the spice section.
Scary thing was, he couldn't quite tell if Lex was serious. He deadpanned everything.
"You know too much," Clark commented as Lex leaned over to look at the ranch dressing, phone still pressed to his ear.
"Education has it's benefits," Lex answered. "Come on, Clark. Misspent youth, Metropolis--think about it. You tip cows in your downtime."
"I do *not*."
Lex snickered and Clark tilted his head in thought.
"You're in a *really* good mood." Almost disturbing, because Lex in this long a stretch of humor was beyond surreal.
"I'm in an excellent mood. Stock prices are up, there are birds singing--probably in South America, but still--there's for once a decent snow on the ground, and I have absolutely no disasters waiting to occur in the plant. No business today. I like it."
Clark let his eyes narrow and Lex merely smiled back, slow and saying a lot of things that probably weren't appropriate in public places. Probably a lot of things that weren't appropriate, period, and he was wondering if he just *asked*, what Lex would be willing to tell him.
Probably a lot. And that made the not-asking really, *really* hard.
Pushing the cart down the aisle, he became suddenly aware that Lex was no longer following him.
"Lex?"
"Hmm?"
Glancing back, Lex had his phone to his ear, a frown creasing his forehead. Dammit. Just a *little* faster than human, Clark reached over and pulled the phone free, thoroughly enjoying the look of shock on Lex's face, before flicking it off and dropping it on the two loaves of French bread already in the basket.
"Wha--"
"You're supposed to be helping." Grinning, Clark circled the end of the aisle and spotted the dairy goods, deliberately setting a pace that made Lex jog to catch up. "Good mood, stock prices, no business, remember?"
"Kent--" He could hear Lex mutter something as he almost ran into Mrs. Hearne, probably an apology, and Clark deliberately dodged into another knot of people. Grocery stores were always crowded on Saturday mornings.
"What kind of cheese would you recommend, anyway?" He wasn't sure Lex could even hear him anymore, and he got some startled looks from Nell Potter and Mrs. Fordham since he seemed to be talking to himself. Flushing, Clark glanced behind him to see--
No Lex.
Coming to a stop beside a stand loaded with the latest butter substitute, Clark gave the grocery store a long look, considering the idea of doing an X-Ray scan, except the sheer amount of people made identifying Lex tricky at best.
"Lex?" Glanced around again, wondering if he'd pissed him off with the phone thing--sometimes, Lex could be difficult to read, and Clark was just learning where Lex's limits were located and how to steer around them. Uncomfortable, he shifted from foot to foot and then sighed, turning back around, coming face to face with Lex smiling at him over a white container of brie cheese held in one hand.
Sitting *in* the damned cart, and Clark opened his mouth and let it shut hard enough for his teeth to click together. The blue eyes were very clear and very amused.
"I didn't hear you." They were getting glances--the usual 'oh look, it's the weird Kent kid and the weird Luthor guy' with an additional double take of Lex in the cart like a recalcitrant seven year old, and Clark gripped the bar of the cart briefly. "How--"
"Surprise is half the battle. Do you learn nothing in school? Brie cheese work for you?"
Clark circled the cart, checking out the groceries carefully. Lex had somehow rearranged the cans and bag of pasta, allowing him his comfortable semi-crouch. *How* had he done that so damned fast, and without Clark even seeing him? Or hearing him, for that matter?
"Are you mushing the bread?"
Lex bared his teeth in a grin.
"Safe, I assure you. Come now, Clark, we have shopping to do."
"I'm not pushing you." More looks, whispers following, and Clark felt himself flush even more as Lex settled himself comfortably, watching him with an innocent expression, still holding that damned cheese as if it was perfectly normal to be *in* a shopping cart at the age of twenty-one, ready to be pushed around the store. God.
"Why not?" Lex settled his elbows on his knees, black wool hissing softly, and Clark blinked.
"Lex--people are looking at us." Lots of them, actually.
"I'm used to it. Push on, farmboy. Milk, you said? Over there." One arm slid out, pointing toward the army of bottles waiting patienty, and there were more whispers, and Clark was beginning to think that the entire store had gathered to watch Lex make an idiot of himself. And Clark along with him.
There was nothing else to do. Flushing, Clark gave a harder push than necessary, but unfortunately, Lex wasn't even unbalanced, and he shook his head, feeling an unwilling grin begin to spread his mouth as they circled the big sausage cooler and came to a pause by the milk.
"Is this the penalty for phone stealing? Total humiliation?"
Another bared-tooth smile, and Lex pressed both hands to the side of the car. One second, he was still crouching, blue eyes fixed on Clark--the next, he was on the floor, resettling his coat and dropping the phone within a pocket. Utterly cool and collected, as if he hadn't just been--well, doing freaky stuff. Geez.
"What did we learn today?"
Clark tilted his head as he picked out a gallon of two percent milk. He liked whole, his mother liked skim. This was the compromise.
"Don't touch Lex's phone?"
"That's one."
"There's another?"
Lex pulled the French bread from under the cart and placed it neatly inside, beside the brie cheese.
"Yes." Lex was studying the cheddar cheeses in the wall cooler with an intense expression.
"Don't talk on the phone when shopping with proactive farmboys?"
Turning back around, Lex was grinning at him--Lex, who probably could have given even less of a damn about the people watching them or the fact that this little incident would be all over town in less time than it took for Nell and Mrs. Fordman to unpack their groceries. Neatly, a half pound of cheddar dropped into the cart with a little flourish, and it occured to Clark to ask if Lex was on any medication he should know about.
Especially the non-prescribed kind.
"I'll allow that one."
"You're weird."
Lex laughed and grabbed the edge of the cart, pulling it along.
"Come on. We have groceries to buy."
"I'm not taking you grocery shopping ever again."
"Any chance I can get that notarized?"
With a laugh, Clark followed Lex to the next aisle.