Rating: PG

Archive: XMMFF.

Classification: Jubilee POV, Gambit/Jubilee

Series: None.

Spoilers: The Movie

Synopsis: Jubilation Lee introspective piece

Feedback: Please. The more feedback, the more story you get.

Authors Note: Jenn let me play with her Jubilee. Isn't she nice?! This baby is spell-checked, btw, and vaguely edited. I don't have a lot of spare time this week :(

Dedication: To Jubilation Lee... Hon, you are my avatar into X-ness. Everything you utter, I know how you feel. I feel glee and laughter at your words, and I understand totally the fascination with Logan in the comics. I give you the spare Cajun, cause you're just too damned cute together. Stay funky, keep lovin' yellow, and thank you for inspiring me.

Jubilation.

by Nacey

Television was good. Television was distraction. The sleeping body next to me was warm and heavy against me, and I felt security knowing he chose to fall asleep there. He's not too trusting of his environment, even here, and letting himself be this vulnerable around me - well, it's a muted sign of a deep rooted trust. I guess he's good too.

Distracting.

Distracting from the constant drama that is Rogue. I love her, I do. That's why I'm stressed, why I wanna destroy stuff and why I'm shouting at him more. I just wish she didn't get hurt so much. It's so easy... not that she's weak. She's strong, really strong, and bad stuff happens to her, because she's not afraid. People think that's Logan, but nuh-uh - that's Rogue through and through. Rogue runs in where angels fear to tread, brown eyes blazing with confidence (or are they green now?) and leather gleaming around her figure. That's her - bold as brass and not afraid. I wish that she'd be afraid, just once.

I was afraid, for her and for Johnny. I couldn't stop thinking about it, couldn't let it slide or let Jean handle it. The woman, despite her telepathic abilities, has the collective clueage of a pack of cheerleaders on a red cordial high. Don't get me wrong, she's smart n' shit, but she's smart in the wrong way. She's all logic and science, and she kinda forgets about human nature, or what it is to be someone else. Hank is really smart and he still remembers that. That's kinda why I've got a slight case of hero worship for him now. When I see him I get a sense of awe and just wanna hug the big furry genius and let him know how much he saved all of us. When I smile at him, or invite him to watch tv or have an oreo - I think he knows.

I never thought he'd like oreos as much as I do.

What's really great, is that he's good to talk to. What's annoying though, is when I'm around him I always seem to start bitching about the doofus that's asleep in my lap right now. I look down at him, at the jerk in my lap. That bizarre rich auburn hair that should be a bottle colour but isn't, is all fanned out on my arm, all warm and red looking in the light of the lamp next to us. His eyes are closed, long dark lashes resting against high cheekbones, his face that should be in a magazine or on a rock-star so sculptural, sheer perfection. There's a light dusting of a five o'clock shadow (he shaved for once, I see...) and there's a hint of a smile on the curve of his lips. He looks so happy.

Sometimes, we let each other be happy.

With a little bit of fear, and a lot of affection, I reach out, letting my fingertips slide through the soft silky hair, and that curl of a smile gets a little deeper. "I hate him," I said to Hank once, in the kitchen, munching on cookies and drinking chocolate flavoured milk. Hank just laughed at this. For all his smart heroness, he could be annoying himself once in a while.

"Ah, young relations," he said, sipping at a tea, "Tumultuous, yet enlivening."

I started at him unblinkingly. "Try living them. They suck."

"I have lived them, Jubilee," he said, "And bear the scars of such foolish years. Why not sit down and tell me what's bothering you?"

He always asks. I wonder why he does - I mean there's gotta be a hundred thousand things that this smart Einstein of a guy would rather talk about or occupy himself with than my failing social life. He asks me to sit down, though, and it's usually around the kitchen table over tea and chocolate milk.

"What is it that Master LeBeau has done this time?"

He said this whilst blowing the edge of his teacup before taking a sip.

"Ugh. Not a lot. No... everything, or maybe nothing..."

Hank blinked at me.

"He worries about Rogue."

With a slight tilt of his head, Hank smiled. "So do you."

"Yeah but... he touched her. He's all - weird about her."

"How so?"

"He looks at her funny." I probably pouted at that point, because Hank looked sympathetic.

"I think you all have a certain degree of protectiveness concerning Rogue. She's a delicate young woman who needs much guidance concerning her powers."

I nodded. "I know, and I want her to have it. Sometimes I think life is all about everyone else, and I'm always making sure everyone else is okay and I stop and think - shit. What am I doing about me?"

Hank nodded.

"I mean - look at Bobby and Johnny. They have their own shit going on, and they seemed to somehow construct a stable functioning relationship through all this crap!"

Hank still nodded, and I waved my arms about wildly.

"What the hell is wrong with me that all I can do is be the comic relief for everyone and hide my head in habit? I wanna know what the hell it is about change that I keep running from it!"

Hank, good old reliable Hank, nodded. "Change can be unsettling."

"Bobby deals! Johnny deals!" I frowned then, shaking my head a little. "Remy isn't dealing."

"I'd say neither are you."

I sighed, propping my face in my hand and pouting indignantly. "That's stating the obvious."

"What you need to do is ascertain what possible change could be troubling you..." Hank said over steepled, clawed fingertips.

"Change means losing something."

Hank gave a light laugh. "It also means gaining some things."

"I dunno if what I have is worth risking for something that might not last anyways."

Hank frowned lightly then, just looking at me softly.

"You will never know, Jubilee," he said. "Not until you seize life by it's roots."

I pouted at that. "Roots are gnarled and icky looking."

Hank nodded sagely, "They also sustain and bring life-giving nutrients. Without them, the tree would be nothing."

Ohh, he was getting metaphorical on me. I patted his arm, nodding, and slunk from the kitchen with my tail between my legs. Hank told me how it was, and dude - I didn't like it at all.

I remember once we were on a mission. Taking out a band of militant anti-mutant spazmos by destroying their supply of arms and hopefully their hide-out in the process. Okay - I added the hopefully part. We weren't *supposed* to destroy the place, but I hated the decor and they followed the teachings of Hitler a little *too* closely. When we were supposed to be transporting the bad goods out, I tripped over. Accidentally on purpose. And booked my ass out of there, grabbing Johnny and making trails. Let's just say that never had the New York area seen such a colorful display of pryotechnics since the last 4th of July. I was incredibly proud. I stood there, grinning, arms folded, long yellow pleather jacket fluttering around my black leather-clad body. I slid on my sunglasses and sighed.

"That's what I call a job well done!"

Rogue ran up to me then, those eyes wild, and she grabbed me. "Are you fuckin' INSANE?!"

I frowned at her. "Huh?"

"Remy's STILL IN THERE!"

Then I had one of those, you know- heart stopping moments. Like the bottom fell out of everything. I mean EVERYTHING. Dude, I've worried about missing team members before, but I'd never - I'd never felt anything like this. My eyes almost burst in pain, pressure behind them giving way to a rush of tears, and I cupped my hand over my mouth.

It was when my other hand found pavement that I realised I'd fallen over.

"No," I breathed. "No..."

There was no way he could have survived the blast. It was huge. It was devastating. The abandoned buildings next to it had gaping holes in their side, and the rest of the team were already running like bats out of hell before the authorities came. Despite my body emblazoned in X's, I wasn't going anywhere. Apparently, neither was Rogue. I heard whimpering, and Remy's name, and my head span. I was whimpering. I was repeating his name, over... and over.

"Remy!"

That wasn't me. I glanced up, and I had my second mind-altering experience for the day. I swear to God, I'd never seen him before and felt so floored. My jaw dropped, tears blurring my vision. He stood there, looking rather surprised at Rogue's arms tight around him, her hair mussed in her face, the sounds of weeping falling from her. I looked up to his face.

Not a mark. Not a bruise, not a charred bit of skin - nothing. When I spoke, my mouth barely moved, my words slurred and dull with shock.

"Where the hell were you?"

He didn't look at me as he ran his hand over Rogue's cascading tresses.

"At de McDonald's up de street."

Something in me broke. Reason flew out the window and I jumped to my feet, arms waving wildly, throwing my sunglasses from my eyes.

"WHAT THE FUCK WHERE YOU DOING THERE?!" I howled, jumping at him, grabbing Rogue and throwing her out of the way before collaring Remy and glaring deep into those ruby eyes with rage.

"I was GOING to de MEN'S ROOM!" he cried back at me.

My eyes were wide, probably bobbling insanely, and a laugh with absolutely no sanity cackled it's way from my chest.

"The bathroom," I said in a crazed high voice, "The BATHROOM!" My voice broke and I screamed, "YOU WERE IN THE FUCKIN' BATHROOM?! DURING A MISSION?!"

He shrugged, rage filling his voice. "NATURE WAIT FOR NO MAN EH?!"

God. That was so him. That was such a - HIM - thing to say. My grip on his collar weakened, and my lips crinkled as I pressed them together, tears spilling down my face.

"I -" I stopped for a sob, taking a shuddering breath in, my voice husky and quiet. "I thought you were dead." I sniffled before breaking down, weeping helplessly, trying to stop myself but having no luck whatsoever.

His eyes... they were so warm that moment. As if he was realising something, and I felt his hands run through my short locks. He pulled me to him then, caressing my back comfortingly and tutting lowly in my ear.

"Non, Petite, non," he said, "I am quite safe. I am here, Petite."

It made me shudder again, hugging him tightly, hugging him with all I had, breathing in the smell of leather and smoke and his spicy young smelling cologne. For a terrible terrible second, I knew what it would be for me if I lost Remy. If Remy was gone, never to come back.

It was the most terrifying few moments of my life.

The movements of Remy snoozing in my lap pulled me from that painful moment. He rolled onto his back and snuggled against me. His eyes fluttering open, he frowned softly at me, even though I thought I was smiling.

"What?"

He hmmed for a moment, then touched my cheek. "Your eyes look sad, petite. Very sad."

I laughed in a breath, shrugging, my heart twisting inside of me. "I was just - um - remembering stuff."

"Oh." He nodded, fingertips at my cheek still. "Mus' have been very painful to make your eyes look like dis."

I sighed, closing my eyes. Damn it. How dare he be so perceptive. I just nodded.

"Yeah, yeah it was."

Settling onto his back, squarely in my lap, he draped an arm behind his head and jutted his chin with decision.

"Then you tell Remy about it."

I snorted. "Yeah right."

He frowned and looked at me. "Why not?"

"Cause..." I rolled my eyes and looked away, and embarrassed grin on my face. "I'm not telling you."

"You mus'," he said, "Is still upsettin' you, Petite."

God I hated when he called me that. Petite meant 'small'. Petite meant short and little and they were things I hated about myself. I wasn't a 'Cheri' or 'ma chere' like Rogue was, or 'Belle' or 'ma chat' like Storm was. Nope, I was always 'Petite'.

"It's not upsetting me," I said, my words gaining an edge to them.

"You try an hide it from Remy - it won't work."

I growled. Something about tonight was tense, stressful, palpable. With all the crap with Rogue, with all the dramas between Bobby and Johnny, with just - with everything - something inside me was close to breaking-point. When I glanced down to Remy, to those candid, concerned... beautiful... eyes - I think I finally lost it.

"Fine!" I snapped. "Ya wanna know what's upsettin' me?!"

His frown grew deeper and he nodded, sitting up slowly, leaning on the armrest so that his body was close to mine, his face only a breath away. I shakingly struggled to keep my angry composure.

"You!"

"Me?"

"Yeah!"

He gave a low rumble and sighed. "Well, what did I do?"

My eyes flew to his and I wondered what the hell he was getting at. Usually, if I said something like that to him, he snapped back with some cool retort and we'd end up in another shouting competition. For some infuriating and mysterious reason, he didn't do that. He just looked - really worried.

"No," I said, shaking my head, "Nuh-uh. You're supposed to shout at me or somethin' - not look worried!"

He licked his lips, concern deep in his eyes. "Jubilee-" Woah. Name usage. He referred to someone of the opposite sex in something other than Cajun vernacular. "I wake, and I see somethin' in your eyes. It make me sad to see it dere. If I have done somethin' to make you feel like dis - please, tell Remy what and I fix t'ings."

I tilted my head, sighing myself this time, those damned tears making pests of themselves again.

"You didn't... you didn't do anything, Remy."

His brows lifted in question and I shook my head. Now he just breathed, "Why you look so sad, like somethin' inside you break?"

I licked my lips nervously, gazing into those eyes, my heart tight as a knot. "I was... thinking... of how I felt when I thought you were dead." My words cracked and wavered with emotion, and Remy's eyes fell down to gaze at my trembling lips. "Of..." I swallowed. "Of how empty I was, when I thought of a world without you in it."

"I did make you sad," he said softly, gazing at my lips still, the gentle touch of his fingertips sliding along as his hand cradled my jaw.

"I guess..."

My head span. He tilted his head a little, a slight crease of thought in his brow.

"I mus' remedy, hmm?"

"I-"

As my mouth opened to mutter some meaningless phrase his lips made contact with mine, pulling them together, blowing my mind with one long lazy pump of his tongue before finishing our first kiss with a chaste purse of his lips. I swallowed, thoughts crashing into one another as I gazed into his eyes searchingly, brows twitching down. I felt myself gasping a little, not for air, but with emotion, confusion trying to gain a foothold through a rush of... of... oh my God... Please God, not that. Not for Remy. I felt my breaths growing frantic as I grabbed the couch underneath me, shaking my head, trying to slide away from him. Those slender nimble hands of his wrapped round my upper arms as he frowned.

"Petite?"

"No!" I whimpered, looking away, "No, I can't do this Remy, I -" I closed my eyes, feeling tears prick to life, "I can't!"

"What?"

I clamped my eyes shut, my heart full of panic, my whole body shaking. Tears sprung and spilled down my face, and I sagged against the back of the couch. "Remy... don't play stupid..."

He tipped my jaw up so my eyes met his, a deep frown of loss, of confusion, of his own panic, in his features.

"Petite," he breathed, a tender caressing sound, "You are scared, oui? We all feel dis sometimes... sometimes when we fall-"

"No!" I gasped. "No, Remy, don't say it!! For God's sake!" I threw my head back, the warm line of tears running down my face. "I don't want you to say it..."

"Say what? That I-"

"No!" I cried again. "Don't!"

I expected him to get angry, to raise his voice. He just looked bewildered.

"Do you not feel it?" he asked. He was giving me that deep, riveting stare that I felt pinned down by. God his eyes were so compelling.

"I..." I gulped. "I do... but I can't!"

"Why? Why not?"

I looked at him then, meeting that stare with a fixed gaze of my own. I think it was the first time I'd ever seen Remy look desperate when dealing with this sort of thing.

Decision, candidness - it all bubbled up inside of me, and with Remy's expression it broke from my lips.

"Because if you love me then you'll be gone, just like my parents, just like the friends I had at the mall before I came here. Just like you were nearly gone."

Remy went to open his mouth but I covered it with my fingertips.

"And think about it! Think about what we do! Any day... any day one of us could go."

His brows tilted up as I said this, touching me deeply, telling me what he was not permitted to say. "I couldn't live... not if I let myself feel this... not if you were gone."

Tears were rimming his eyes now, and I think he was shaking. Yes he was... the hands that cupped over mind and pulled them away from his face were trembling, and his lips were too.

"And anyway," I continued, making noise before anything else could be said, "We fight all the time! All the time! We can't even open our mouths without breaking down into fisticuffs! I mean face it! We're-"

"In love," he said, breaking in, a sad tearful smile on his face. "We fight because we're afraid, oui?"

God, I was so scared. I could feel myself shaking like him.

"We fight, because things we say to each other are important. We care about what we say. Dis is why we fight. Dis is why we are together always, in each other's faces, deep in de dirt and de battles. Cause what we do means somethin' to us."

"Remy..." I moaned in a tight, high breath, "If I let myself feel this, I won't ever be able to stop myself!"

A smile cracked on his face, eyes still deep with that fear, his fingertips shuddering as they skidded over my face. "Aaah... ma petite... Remy like de sound of that."

"Nooo," I whimpered. "Rogue! Remember Rogue? Your great huge love affair-"

He sighed, shaking his head. "She... she is the great mystery. De siren, eh?"

"Oh great! And I'm your dumpy reality!" I folded my arms and looked away with a hurt snarl.

"Non!" He shook his head, eyes gleaming as he cradled my face. "You are my heart."

I felt a fresh spring of tears down my face, shaking my head, the beginnings of a smile in the corners of my mouth. "You bastard!"

He lifted his brows, a bemused smile on his own lips as he leant in closer to me.

Sniffling back tears, my heart brimming and afraid, I sighed. "You're holding no prisoners, are you Romeo?"

"Only you," he smiled, fingertip tracing the collar of my shirt. I nodded, my fingers tangling themselves in the loose wrinkles of the sleeve of his shirt, digging for the warm silk of his skin.

"Remy..."

"Hmmm?"

I glanced up to him, to his sweet face, to those fiery red eyes and the body that leant over me. "I'm afraid."

"Oui," he nodded, shifting a little, his fingers sliding underneath my fuzzy yellow jacket, pushing it over one shoulder. "Fear arrives in hand wit' love."

Love. Love! Was that it? Was that what I'd been feeling all this time? I remember hating him. I remember wanting to beat the living crap out of his smug Cajun face not a couple of months ago. I remember fearing and crying and worrying over Rogue, and trying not to think about Remy in intensive care, because I couldn't deal with that, I couldn't stay sane and deal with that. I remember being in my bedroom, late at night, not being able to sleep, Kitty dead to the world and feeling more alone that I ever had in my life, despite being in a school fool of people. I remember going into the kitchen, knowing that Rogue had Logan, that my Johnny had Bobby, that Kitty and other assorted friends had their own lives, and that I often dispelled gospel to a lot of them when they were in need.

Sure, Hank was help, but Hank was older, and wiser and distant. I didn't have that clinging, deep rooted understanding that filled one with a sense of security. I never ever had, not here.

I think I knew from the beginning that Remy held what I needed inside, and that so easily I could fall into a secure, sweet safe situation that would end.

They always end.

So that night I traipsed down to the kitchen in search of a box of sugar bombs and a bottle of whisky. I found them, I cradled them, and stepping out onto the back porch, I hugged my jacket around me, my socks catching on the wood of the floorboards underneath me. I sat on the back step, one hand digging into the sugar bombs as the other unwound the cap of the whisky. As I slugged back the alcohol, the woody taste wracking my tongue, I readied a handful of sugar bombs to follow it down.

I frowned, the scent of smoke catching in my nose.

"You save some of dat whisky for ol' Remy, oui?"

I remember the aggravation that welled within me.

"Go away."

He tisked, coming out from the darkness. He'd been hiding in the shadows in the corner of the porch, cigarette hanging from his lips.

"What the hell are you doing there anyways? You dirty pervert."

He blinked, sitting down next to me. "Jus' thinkin' petite."

I growled, swigging the whisky again, cause I really really needed it. "Wow. There's a new habit for ya."

He gave a little laugh. He always found me so damned amusing. Swig whisky. Don't think, Jubes.

"So..." I ticked a nostril as I sniffled. "Taking Logan-ducking to whole new levels or are you moping?"

"I not be the only one moping."

I double glanced at him, and scowled. I grabbed his cigarette. "Gimme that!" I took a long drag, letting him take the whisky from my hands and gulp some down. He grunted and 'aaahed' after downing some, and I tilted my head back and blew pretty smoke patterns in the air. "Wassup, Cajun?"

He just gave me a guarded smile, pulling out another cigarette and lighting it. I narrowed my eyes at him, my aggressive and curious personality jumping out to play.

"Come on, you can tell Auntie Jubilee!" I nudged him roughly, offering him some sugar bombs. He looked at them with slight disgust. Oh yeah - food connoisseur. Mr. 'I Should Have My Own Cooking Show'. He was so snooty when it came to food, it was a miracle he wasn't gay. Maybe he was gay. "Is it that you're gay?"

He double glanced at me and smirked. "I'm not gay, Petite."

"Oh. Hazarding a guess here, Cajun, cause you're not exactly being forthcoming."

His smile calmed and he tilted his head at me. "You like to be like this, hmm? Always confrontational. Bein' the first to jump in, to dirty the scene."

I snorted and swigged whisky. "Sure, you got a problem with that?"

"Non," Remy gave me that really REALLY irritating knowing smile. "I find it amusing."

"Tpfft!" I flicked my hair and glared at him, throwing a few sugar bombs at him for good measure. "Do I look like a television set to you?! Geez."

He grew quiet then, and took a drag on his cigarette. At this point, Remy and I hadn't been incredibly close. Okay, honestly - we barely got along. I got along with him enough in a group situation, and it was enough that I could work with him. From this tension came friendly fire in the form of shouting matches and puffed chests. God. So safe to be like that, so innocent and playful. Something was wrong with Remy though, and

I frowned.

"Seriously," I said, making patterns in the air with the glowing end of the cigarette,

"What's wrong?"

He turned about, leaning against a column of the veranda, gazing at me softly. "Remy wonderin' why you care."

Wow. Caution. I'd not really felt that from him before. I shrugged. "I don't know." Ilooked at him, tilted my head, pursed my lips. "I think... I don't like seeing you sad. Makes for limp fisticuffs."

This earned a smile from him. A real, soft, enchanting smile. I crawled along the back porch, dragging my cereal snack-food and whisky along with me, making camp on Remy's chest. I tilted the whisky at his lips.

"Drink up," I said, "We have a lot of You-Angst to get through."

That was the moment that I decided I was better off being friends with Remy. Snuggling with him on that porch, that was the day I started feeling a little more at ease, the day my steps started being perceptively lighter. It was also the day I started the ritual of watching TV with Remy and letting him fall asleep in my lap as he mumbled his troubles at me. It was always late at night, when we could be alone, and it was always quiet and comforting and rejuvenating. When I nearly lost him in the anti-mutant job, losing those moments with him was death to me, and when I held him and buried my face in his shoulder,

I realised that they made me whole.

Maybe this thing was love. Maybe.

His trailing fingers at my collar-bone brought me back to the present, his eyes following the curve and rise of the skin there.

"Remy?"

He closed his eyes, the touch of a smile lifting his lips, and he descended upon my shoulder, planting a delicate soft kiss. "Oui petite?" he breathed, his lips brushing over my skin.

I whimpered. "I dunno. I was stallin' for time."

He looked up at me then, cocking a brow.

"I have surrender issues."

He gave a low chuckle, cradling my face and pulling me down into a kiss. His lips tugged and parted mine, tender and exploring, and I felt a swell of pure joy inside of me. I gulped when he finally pulled away, his thumb running circles over the shell of my ear.

"Wh-" Another gulp, "What was that for?"

"Bein' yourself, Jubilation."

I blushed, shrugging and looking away coyly. "It's a skill."

When his lips touched my neck, that fear broke within me, and wriggled, a restlessness within me.

"What if you die in the next mission?"

He glanced up at me, and taking my hand, he dotted tiny kisses on my knuckles. "Then you cry for ol' Remy, then you move on."

"Mmm, no," I shook my head. "I couldn't do that."

I think this amused Remy somewhat, as he planted kisses on my jaw line, moving closer to my lips. "I," Kiss, "Think," Kiss, "Mmm... you could."

"No no no," I pouted, then his lips covered mine and any expression I had on my face quickly slid off. Oh God he was very good at that... damn it, what was I thinking, hating this guy? What the HELL was I thinking?

I doubted myself. I knew I'd fall in love with him, I *knew* this would happen, so I tried to keep him away from me. And I assumed he'd never be interested in me, because he was *exactly* the type to ignore me.

So I hated him.

God I loved him.

"I would cry," I said, sliding down on the leather couch, onto my back, letting Remy settle on top of me, his knee between mine and his thigh pressing against me in all sorts of lovely ways. He ran his fingers through my hair, as short as it was, sighing softly. " I'd cry and I wouldn't eat."

"Non?"

"Non," I said, "I wouldn't. I'd break things and tear my hair out and cry some more and if you had a body left I'd wail over it like one of those Muslim women at those weird funerals they have."

He smiled a little, looking bewildered, his hand now running up my arm that was buried in his shirt. "Why would you do that to yourself, petite?"

I pressed my lips together, frowning, my body stumbling over what my heart was bursting to say.

"Cause... I love you."

The smile on Remy's face sort of shifted, and the look... wow. The look he gave me...

"Oui?" he breathed, as if I'd run off at any moment.

"Yes," I nodded, "Oui. Ja. Da. Auf Wiedersehen. Konichi Wa!"

He chuckled, sinking down to my neck and running the tip of my tongue over the pulse point. I shuddered from head to toe, the heat and suddenness of it all swamping me. All of a sudden, his voice moved through my skin as his lips pressed against me over and over.

"Mon chou..."

Ohhh.... that bastard.

"That ain't fair!" I moaned, and then... then he ground a little, just so slightly, his thigh pressing into me harder. He smelt like fine oils, he felt like silk and his voice was like mahogany. If a voice could like - be a wood. If it were a wood, it'd be mahogany.

Oh sweet God above, I think my legs were twitching.

"Ma tourterelle," he whispered, his lips skidding up over my chin, pressing down on mine and suckling gently.

I think I lost all thought. His hand that wasn't supporting him slid up the side of my body, finding my breast, squeezing so slightly, pressing and cradling. My body fought back at him with pure instinct, tongue stealing into his mouth, my hands under his shirts and rippling over that gorgeous olive skin of his. The heat within me was drowning me, and with a mildly amused shock I realised I was grinding against Remy's leg like a horny dog in the middle of the rec room where children of 12 watched Power Puff girls. In some kinky naughty dirty way, it drove me wild.

"Floor," I breathed, "Couch, no room."

Wow. I was reduced to maximum three word sentences. Remy cradling my breast and running his tongue around my own would do that to a Jubilee. We tumbled off the couch and onto the carpet in front of the tv, shoving the coffee table out of the way roughly. He continued mumbling sweet Cajun nothings in my ear whilst sliding his hand up underneath my shirt. The sensation of the warm and yet rough palm of his hand against the round of my breast made me hold my breath a moment, my head swimming delightfully. The pad of his thumb ran a ring of rosy around my nipple, and I took my bottom lip in my teeth, brows creeping up as I gazed at him. He looked like he was *really* really enjoying that. He gave me that naughty smile then, and I could tell he was promising me great things. As if he needed to.

He shifted down, his body dragging against mine, as he slid his hands under my t-shirt and began to gather it up and over my head. His eyes met mine a moment before wandering down to say hello to my breasts which were very very happy to see the Cajun indeed. He kissed the soft part of my belly just below my ribcage, the firm jut of the tip of his nose leading the way of the soft wet press and lunge of his lips and tongue that followed.

"R-Remy...."

I breathed his name, it was barely audible, and he moaned gently back at me, nuzzling the swell of my breast before taking a mouthful and suckling gently.

My jaw dropped. Oh God. I felt my leg twist around and latch onto him, but I wasn't really conscious of what I was doing. No, I was too busy floating in sensation and whimpering for my life as my heart thumped a Lord of the Dance beat against the inside of my ribcage. My fingers dug into that silky soft hair of his, one hand burrowing under his shirt and sliding up his lithe back.

"Yes," I gasped a little, "Yes."

I had to whimper again when he left the nipple he was lavishing attention upon, but he shifted up again and dropped in to say hello to my lips. In a fit of impatience I tugged at his shirt, trying to get it up over his head. He chuckled, pressing butterfly kisses against my lips before letting me pull the grey x-shirt off of him. I gasped softly at the sight that greeted me.

Lean, lithe, muscular chest encased in the most delicious shade of olive skin I'd ever seen stretched on down to tracksuit pants that hugged his hips and barely concealed his behind. I shuddered and cooed, running my hands down over the planes of his chest, fingers rippling over ribcage, nails dragging over light covering of chest hair between pectorals and the dark line of promising and directing hair at his bellybutton.

"God you're beautiful," I growled, touching kisses all over him possessively. Again, he chuckled, pulling my hand away from his side and drifting his lips over the knuckles. "No more than you, petite." He draped my arm around his neck and lowered his body against me, his lips sinking into mine and beginning their dedicated caressing once more.

God. This abandon was terrifying, truly terrifying. Inside, a part of me was gripped with fear, pleading me to stop, not because I didn't want to do this with him (oh Lord I

did more than anything I've remembered wanting before), and not because I'd never done it with him before (though I did intend to impress), but because some irrational part of my mind was convinced I'd lose him now. That in some way, some how, some bizarre chance thing would happen, something that would only happen to somebody linked with me, Jubilation, and I'd lose him.

The leg I had wrapped around him gripped tighter, and the warm hot and firm throbbing of his groin made itself known to rather tender and receptive parts of my groin. By God, Buddha and all the Gods in Olympus, that felt fucking good. I kissed him deeper and let a hand wander down to the behind that had always looked so damn good to me, pressing it and gripping it hungrily.

Okay, so I was losing it. I was going mad with these feelings broiling inside of me, bubbling, sizzling, hissing and spitting and wanting to scald things. By the strength of his grip on my hip and the fervour in which his tongue was thrashing inside my mouth, I guessed he was feeling pretty much the same. It was nice to know.

I spread my legs, letting my socked feet nestle on his hips, and with a naughty grin I pushed down the dark-grey regular issue tracksuit pants. Seemed Remy was commando-boy today, which was good because it saved me the time of taking off his underwear for a lack of them.

My heartbeat skipped and thumped around when I saw his engorged member, my mouth drying and failing me. I'm no virgin, I'd seen some dicks in my time. This one... this one was nice. Not too long, not too wide, a nice shape with a well-defined head. Pulling my lips down to the dip in his neck, I let my fingertips drift up it's length, caressing it with feather touches.

I could feel him shudder, his touches growing more fervent, his fingers tagging and pulling down my slacks.

"Mon petite meenoo," he breathed, "oui..."

I didn't want to get him too excited, so I kept the touches down there to a light stroking of the fingertips, enough to drive him wild, enough to get him frenzied. Once he'd slipped my slacks down around my ankles, he kissed me again, fingers drifting to my nether-region pressing gentle strokes over my lips and clit.

"Mm...mpph," I gasped, "That's playing dirty, boyo."

"Tell me you don' like it dis way, eh?"

"I don't," I grinned, "I love it."

The way he moved, the way he looked over me, there was a sense of curiosity about it, discovery, each touch lingering and learning, his eyes looking to me every now and again with a keen glint of judgement. I mumbled soft words to him, encouragement, guidance, adoration. He let a finger press at my entrance, and with lengthening strokes his digits sank into me, the fingertips running firm up the rippling front of my passage. I could feel the pressure he caused, the burning, dancing sensation that it caused within me. I arced, hungry to run my body against his. He was endless skin, smooth and delicious, salty and shifting. His auburn hair was soft and tickled my ears as it hung down around me. His hand pumped my entrance solidly, and the tips of my brain synapses were shuddering and making my eyes loll.

"Oh God," I let my head roll back, "Oh God... Rem... oh baby... I can't hold on! I can't..." I took his face in my hands, meeting those red eyes firmly. "I want you in me, you. When it's the first I want-" I closed my eyes, gulping, shaking all over, sweat breaking on my skin.

"Oui," he breathed, cradling my cheek, running his lips at the corner of my mouth, up my face, over my eyelid. "Petite, will there be anything we be needin'?"

I shook my head. "Pill."

He sighed, as if in relief. I could feel the tip of him running over my netherlips, a pulsing hot touch that reverberated through my body with every beat. It was a strange feeling, that it was Remy with his arms around me, Remy pressing his mouth against mine, muttering Creole dotings into me, his breath hot against my lips. I tilted my hips, my breath rushing in as he slid slowly into me. I had to let my head fall back, Rem dragging his mouth down my neck, open against the skin, his tongue swirling and exploring. He began it then, the slow easy strokes into me, his hand resting on my breast and thumb rolling my nipples. He planted soft kisses down the plane of my chest, from the sternum up the breast to my nipple. Upon arriving at the nub of flesh he circled his lips around it, tongue feathering over it lightly. Pressing his mouth over it he ran his tongue up the underside then sucked firmly, filling his mouth with my flesh. He was gentle though, careful, his teeth only just brushing the flesh before his tongue took their place and laved fervently.

During all of this his length ran in and out, liquid movement with solid thrusts, climbing delirium gripping me as he went. Every breath had a light, burning tension to it that ran tension into all my muscles. I was tight but kept my pelvis loose, rolling, rolling, hot and smooth and tingling all over, all at once. I pulled him up, covering my mouth with his, thrusting my tongue into his, mirroring the action taking place below, stroking his own, flicking, wrestling. He felt good, too good. He was a God. Ohhh yeah he was. I began to really grip his arms, his shoulders, my fingers digging in, my legs curling up and around his hips. I ran my hand up, against his face, looking into his eyes as he thrust into a frenzy.

"Damn it..." I clenched my eyes, a moan breaking through my control, "God... Oh God..."

He flashed a grin, lips shuddering as he threw himself into pleasuring me, his hips jolting up and down in a steady rolling rhythm. I squeezed him between my legs, clamping my vaginal muscles around him just to try to spite him. He let out a gasp, his arms nearly buckling beneath him, and he growled softly.

"No fair, petite..."

I giggled, but it was all cut short by a violent thrust that had me wailing to God some more. I did the muscle clamping again, and he ground down all special, just to create blessed friction at my clitoris. This combined teasing at two effects. We were losing it, the both of us, grinding and thrusting and sweating, and we were also making a lot of noise. I couldn't help it. Every blessed touch was burning and my heart was shaking inside of me like a go-go dancer in a cage, whimpering to be let out before it died of exhaustion. I stuck against Remy, sweat slicking our bodies, and our lips touched, wet and gentle, eyes meeting with a direct burning passion that equalled our actions.

"Oh yeah," I breathed, nodding, "Yeah..."

Shock, complete shock and bliss broke out on my face, my body arcing. Oh I was there, almost there, just needed a little more... more...

"Oh petite," he said, nuzzling me gently, "Je t'aime, Jubilee..."

"AUH!!" My body bent back, limbs flailing as the release rocked me. Yep. Confession of love - that did it right there. I grappled for his shoulders suddenly, locking my ankles behind him, riding out the thrilling maddening orgasm, biting gently on his deltoid and hoping to God that my poor heart would hold out from all the thumping and shuddering going on. Remy ground on, and amongst all of this I barely caught the hot rush inside of me heralding his own climax. His hand fluttered about my face, my breast, his forehead brushing against mine as he nuzzled softly. I gulped, caressing his face gently.

"Thank you..."

He frowned slightly, then pulled my top lip into a tender kiss, slipping down into a deeper caress. After a moment he pulled away, running his lips over mine, still breathing heavy from exertion. "Non," he breathed, "Non... I thank you, mon chou."

We tumbled over in a sweaty limb tangled mess, gasps and moans the current volley of conversation. I gulped, shaking my head.

"Woah..."

Remy nodded. I sighed.

"Woah..."

Remy still nodded.

"Why didn't we do that ages ago?"

Remy shrugged. He looked over to me then, love evident in his eyes, a tired smile on his face. I was laying there, leaning against the couch, arms and legs splayed, hair a mess, sweaty and pretty much revolting. He lifted his hand, brushing a lock from my face before caressing my chin tenderly.

"You are beautiful, Jubilee."

I scoffed, rolling my eyes and looking away "Sure."

He pulled my face back, and met my eyes. "You are."

I smiled, doggedly, and shrugged. "Okay."

The clean-up was less fun that the event, but we really had to clean up the rec-room and get the sweaty sex smell out of there before the morning when there'd be youthful thorough-fare. Of course, this was harder than one would think with the impromptu make-out sessions taking place during the event.

We staggered into the kitchen, grabbing some vodka and a spare tumbler, some heavy wool blankets from the downstairs linen closet, and made our way outside for some private time on the grass.

We collapsed into a heap, wrapped in blankets and in each other, sipping at the vodka and gazing at the stars. I snuggled to the nape of Remy's neck, finger trailing the neckline of his shirt, an amazing sense of relief becoming me. We both chose the lawn, as a silent decision between us, because we had no room to go to, and I didn't want to leave his side. I don't think he wanted to leave mine either.

"When ourtieeen byes harrrrrrrrr... an' innernu turrs low.... and resentment rides high... and emotions were sooooo, and when sooneee ren sururrrrrrrr and weenee was wen wooo.... Loooove! Looove will tear us apaaaaaart, uh-gaaaaaaain!"

Remy sniggered, swigging on the bottle, squeezing me to him. "Tha' song has words, non?"

I giggled. "Sure but who understands them? It's like Footloose."

He looked at me, seemingly lost.

"Oh you know! Fooh-loose! Fooh-loose! Kick off those Sunday shoes! Ooweee! Oweee! Sin up da sum dooweeee!"

He laughed, and I bopped away to silent music, humming and sipping the vodka. "So um... what's gonna happen now?"

"Hmm?"

"You know... we're here, on the grass. Tomorrow we'll go to our rooms and... and we'll eat breakfast and have to go fight the good fight eventually and - and"

"Thin's will go on," he said. "We will jus' be by each other's side, huh?"

I tried to contain a smile, tilting my head. "Groping each other and being generally randy towards one another..."

"Def'ni'ly," Remy nodded, "Especially the randy part."

I giggled. "God I love ya." I felt his hand at my face, and he turned it to meet his gaze.

"I think I like it when you say this to me."

Wow. I guess it was. I shrugged, leaning on his shoulder and sighed contentedly. "Yeah well - it won't be the last time, baby."

Beast was right, about the change stuff. Then again, Beast has been right about so many things people have stopped keeping count. So yeah, the change was scary. It had me weeping and wailing and hiding in my room, but Bobby and John (despite their endlessly dramatic infighting and infucking), are on to one hell of a good thing. All things considered, including hot gorgeous Cajun comrades, so am I. I don't know what will come of this. I don't know if it'll end up good, or bad, or what. I guess that night I decided to stop worrying about it, and just enjoy it. It was all I could do, when one takes my vocation into account, because for an X-Man, tomorrow may not come. Sure, that frightens the crap out of me, but looking back on everything, I'd hate to think that I arrived at that moment, and not known the love that Remy came to give me, not known his touch or the joy of our consummation. The thought of not knowing these things frightens me more, believe me.

Hot chocolate with an extra marshmallow was the order of the day the following evening when I had my usual chat with Hank. The bastard seemed rather pleased about it all, as if he knew it would happen eventually. The only thing that annoyed me is that he didn't warn me fully about this. He didn't bring up Remy though. He just smiled gently, patted me on the shoulder with a big blue hand, then sat at the kitchen table with me.

"How was your training today?"

I sighed. "Better. I guess. I dunno. It was hard to concentrate with Remy copping a feel now and then."

Beast shook his head. "Fondling is not a combat skill."

I sniggered, "I dunno, it's a sure way to piss off your opposition. Or distract them at least."

The blue furry man grinned and nodded. "Indeed. How does Rogue feel about this..."

"What - with Remy?" I snorted, "Dude - she's spending time with the Wolverine, man! She's totally fine with it." I gave a huffed laugh. "Hell! She's seen inside Remy's head! She probably saw this coming before either of us did." I frowned at him. "Hey. You ever... you know... go dating or whatever?"

The smile Beast gave me was a secretive one. "Like you're probably guessing, it is not easy for me considering my appearance, but yes, I do spend time with a lady from time to time."

I grinned. "Woohoo Henry! Way ta GO! Any clues or you gonna leave me guessing?!"

"Let's just say we're guaranteed no rain should we go on a picnic."

I gasped, covered my mouth and laughed. Our own Beast was scoring with the beauteous Goddess Storm?! Holy cow. I punched him on a large bicep and shook my head. "You been keeping too many secrets from me boy."

"Not intentional," Beast said, "I just tend to wait for you to finish talking... sadly that occasion is rare."

"Oh my God," I laughed, shaking my head, "You bitch..."

Beast cocked a brow then smiled. "Of course I jest."

"Yeah I know," I said, nodding and smiling. I looked at him seriously then, and taking his clawed hand, I squeezed it. "Thank you, Henry. For you know-"

"I know," Hank said, stopping me with a nod. "We're friends. These talks are something that we share without thought. No thanks are necessary."

"I think they are," I said, "Just so you know that I appreciate you."

"I appreciate you too, Jubilation," he said, "Even during your less quiet moments."

I laughed, enjoying the playful ribbing but knowing that behind it all there was a vein of pure affection, the kind you have with a family you treasure for always.

The real amazing thing about all of this was the freedom of heart I suddenly acquired. Not that I would never have had it without Remy, it was a change within me, but he helped that along. I thought all I could ever be was the loudmouth mall rat with a quip for every turn, and he helped me see that I could be more. I could be insightful, I could be wise, I could be tender. I could be quiet as a mouse and as fearful as a cobra.

Remy's given me a lot, and it's not all roses now that he's mine. We fight, just as ferociously as we ever did before, but now there's all the fun of making it up to each other later on. I love that, I love our foibles and our challenges, and I love him.

We still worry about Rogue on occasion, but Logan's constantly at her side to look after her, so the pressure is off. I still talk to Beast about Remy, but usually it's me telling him what he said that morning and wondering why men were the way they were and why things worked out the way they did. Secretly, I think Beast preferred the conversation prior to my fully consummated love affair with Remy LeBeau. I'll have to think of something else to talk to him about, I suppose.

Heh... naaaah!

The End